Guilty as charged… Or at least that’s how I feel right now.
How about you? Have you ever felt like you are a “con” in confidence?
Others seem to see me as confident. I thought I had more self-esteem than the average person because I put deliberate effort into building my confidence. Did I pull the wool over everyone’s eyes? Or is “impostor syndrome” to blame for my feeling like a con in confidence?
Heck, I help others with their Networking Confidence every day. I see profound results in how they grow more confident, speak up, ask for what they want, better connect with others and thrive in a higher level of confidence with their connections.
In looking through my testimonials, this one stood out for the way he pointed out that the root of everything I speak about is rooted to helping people with their confidence.
“You are an inspiration with everything you do; especially through the advice you give to those who are shy and would like to network. After listening to the panel discussion, it seems networking is a lot about helping people with confidence building. What you do has so much purpose and we’re thankful to you for sharing your knowledge with us.”
– Don Johnson, DM, Campus Director at University of Phoenix, Virginia Beach Campus
More recently, I’ve been asked by groups to be a panelist and a keynote on the importance of Claiming Confidence (without the “Networking” part included). Yep, Confidence with a capital C. Not “Networking Confidence” but Confidence in life. When I shared that I am on a personal journey to claim my confidence, they said in so many words, “That is why we want you. Because you understand the importance of confidence first hand and because you help others in their journeys.” One group sold out tickets within 24 hours. The other group completely filled their auditorium and had the highest number of attendees they’ve had in a long time. This speaks volumes. Lots of us are struggling with confidence and want help.
So here I was receiving validation that others see me as confident and for how I empower others in their confidence. But then I received a message in black and white: I took The Confidence Code quiz (click for quiz) and the heart-dropping results came back to me…
“Based on your responses to this quiz, you have lower than average confidence.”
Facepalm. I still have far to go.
How could this be? I work on my confidence every single day. I’ve compiled a list of over 50 Confidence Hacks that work for me when I need a boost. I have used every one of those hacks and put them to use all the time. I’ve read up on articles and research that strive to explain the confidence gap, ways to increase confidence, and the differences in confidence based on gender. Yet there is still much more to learn, apply and share.
Confidence is a rollercoaster for sure but doesn’t it feel that way for everybody? The results of the Confidence Quiz and the invitations to speak with others on Confidence have cemented my resolve for why this work is necessary. I see how important it is to work not only on my own confidence, but on ways I can help others even more with their confidence by becoming a good role model, and sharing the confidence-boosting tips that I’m constantly putting into practice.
I vow to stretch myself even further and to stop holding myself back (and those I serve) due to lack of confidence. I also vow to continue to uplift and support environments where participants confidence can grow and flourish.
For more resources on feeling like a con when it comes to confidence, check out:
- Do You Have Imposter Syndrome?, Entrepreneur
- The Imposter Phenomenon, Behavioral Science Research Institute
Interested in simple boosts to stop feeling like a “con” in confidence?
Over the next several blogposts, I will be posting 5 Cs on how to quickly boost confidence through Clarity, Communication, Composure, Core, Competence as well as ways to foster a Culture of Confidence. The posts will include numerous confidence hacks as well as resources and research to learn more. If you want to stop feeling like a “con” in confidence follow along and please let me know how these tips help you.